The Trouble With Quidditch
by Franklet
Summary: Lily Evans is pretty sure that's got a brilliant plan to humble the infamous James Potter...unfortunately for Lily Evans, her plans always go awry


The peaceful quiet of the unused transfiguration classroom is exactly what Lily Evans needed this weekend. Instead of going outside with her housemates to enjoy the sunshine, or searching out Severus and catching up with him, Lily had decided to find a nice, tranquil part of the castle and curl up with her favourite book.

Unfortunately for Lily, nice, tranquil parts of Hogwarts were hard to come by. Her dormitory had still not quite recovered from their late night experiments last night and was not at all conducive for relaxation. The Common Room was far too rowdy for her to concentrate; her friends were outside and would never give her a chance to read more than three pages before coming to drag her off on a mad scheme. Lily spent too much time in the library studying for her to want to be there for recreation purposes.

Desperate for a place to sit and read, she had started to wander the halls of Hogwarts, peering into doors and behind tapestries in the hopes of finding somewhere tucked away. She had eventually stumbled across an unused classroom, mercifully free of dust and had decided to settle down there. One could now find Lily leaning against the wall, floor pleasantly comfortable after a cushioning charm was used, legs tucked up under her, book in one hand, the other dipping into a packet of Muggle crisps her mother had send her in the last post.

Alas, Lily's lovely relaxing Saturday was soon to come to an end.

At first it was so faint that the girl could hardly hear it. There was giggling, loud peals of laughter and a few shouts of outrage. The sound of pattering feet and pants came closer and closer until, before she knew it, a boy had burst into the room, red faced and laughing.

His eyes met her across the room, bright and merry behind his round glasses, and he held his finger up to his lips. "Ssssh. Don't let them know I'm here." And with that, the boy dove behind the dilapidated teacher's desk, disappearing from view.

Before Lily even had a chance to blink, let alone demand to know what was happening, the door was flung open once more. This time, instead of an out of breath boy, there was a group of out of breath girls, all stifling giggles.

"Oh! Sorry Lily," one of the girls at the front gasped, unable to stop laughing. "I didn't see you there."

Lily slowly lowered her book and blinked. The girls gave the room a quick scan and sighed.

"He's not here!" a pretty brunette shouted over her shoulder and with more sighs and apologies for disturbing Lily, the girls flitted out of the doorway, slamming it shut behind them.

Instantly the boy popped up from behind the desk. He grinned at her and sauntered out, ruffling his hair as he came.

Lily watched warily as he approached. No good was going to come out of this, she thought with a sigh.

"Terribly sorry about all that," the boy waved his hand flippantly towards the door. "You know how it is."

"Not really." Lily said, eyes wide.

"I'm used to it of course," he continued with a melodramatic sigh "They just can't keep their hands off me...or understand that I need privacy too. But," he gave an even more dramatic sigh, "I suppose that's the sacrifice you have to make when you're a Quidditch star."

Lily resisted the urge to snort. He couldn't be serious. The depths of James Potter's conceit was really astounding. In the back of her head a small idea began to form and she had to force herself not to grin evilly. This was going to be too much fun. "I'm sorry, but...who on earth are you?" She blinked up at him innocently.

The boy stopped mid step, staring at her incredulously. "Wha...who am I? I'm James Potter!"

She shrugged sheepishly, looking exceedingly puzzled. "Who?"

"Ja – James...James Potter?" He looked thoroughly put out now, as if he was unable to comprehend exactly how she did not know who he was on sight. This, Lily thought wryly, being James Potter, was probably exactly what was going through his big inflated head. "I'm in your year!" He exclaimed, the tips of his ears slightly red. "We're in the same _House_." She stared at him blankly, lips quirked up in a small smile. "You know," he was started to sound desperate now, "James Potter. Mates with Sirius Black. Brilliant at Transfiguration, even more brilliant at Quidditch...I'm a Chaser on the Gryffindor team."

"Ohh!" Lily grinned at him in comprehension and he sighed in relief. "James! I remember now, aren't you the one who wore Patricia's dress robes to breakfast the other week?"

He flushed bright red at this and huffed. She stifled the urge to laugh. "Let's not focus on that yeah? I can't believe you don't know I play Quidditch!"

Resisting the urge to roll her eyes – honestly, the boy's ego never failed to amaze her – Lily gave a small laugh. "Oh Quidditch. To be honest, I'm not that big of a fan."

"Not that big of a fan?" James spluttered, outraged. "It's _Quidditch_."

She shrugged delicately. "I don't understand the appeal. It's bunch of sweaty people swooping around on wooden sticks, chucking a ball about...once you've seen one Quidditch game, you've seen them all."

The expression of horror and disgust on James' face almost made her burst out into laughter. "You...I don't understand...its madness. You're completely mad." He shook his head at her, giving her a pitying look. "You need to come watch _me _play," he puffed his chest out. "Once you've seen me play, you'll be hooked baby."

_Oh my GOD _Lily thought, almost breaking out into hysterical laughter at that very second. He could not be serious. James must have noticed the strangled expression on her face because he suddenly looked concerned.

"Don't be nervous darling." He was speaking in a deeper voice than he had moments before. "I know it must be intimidating for you, being around such a great Quidditch player, but I'll take good care of you."

"Thanks for the offer," Lily closed her book with a snap. This was getting old now. She had thought it would be amusing to pretend she didn't know who he was and ruffle his feathers – though of course she knew exactly who he was. She'd been forced to watch him strut around the school with his imbecilic best mates for four years now and clean up the messes he left. Now she was just getting angry. "But Quidditch is not for me. I'd rather go watch a real sport." James' mouth dropped open at this. "Have you ever heard of football? It's simply divine."

"So I'm not a 'real' athlete? Is that what you're saying? Since I don't play a 'real' sport?"

"Of course not," Lily scoffed, standing to her feet. "You fly around on a broom, do a couple of loops and chuck a ball through one of three hoops. Anyone can do that. It takes real skill to play football."

"Oh, well _pardon me_," James was openly glaring at her, arms folded across his chest. "I suppose you'd know exactly what it takes to play Quidditch because you're such a fabulous player yourself?"

"Don't be absurd." She started to move towards the door, rolling her eyes. "Why would I waste my time on Quidditch?"

"Oh, so you must play football then?" James followed her, face red.

"No, I don't play football either." She laughed.

James jumped to stand in front of her, eyes narrowed. "Then how exactly do you know that football has more skill?"

"I just do ok!" She narrowed her eyes right back at him, clutching her book to her chest. "Can you get out of my way please?

"I'm just trying to understand," James continued with a smirk, "how someone like you thinks they understand Quidditch."

Lily stopped trying to move around him at this, scowling darkly. "Someone like _me_?"

"Yeah. A stuck up swot with a stick up her arse so huge I'm surprised you can walk around." Now it was Lily's turn for her mouth to drop open. "Honestly, are you really that bitter that you have no friends?"

"I have friends!" Lily's hands flew to her hips.

"Sure. That's why you're hiding in a dusty old classroom reading a book by yourself."

"I'm bitter?" Lily's voice steadily rose in volume, her face growing redder by the second. "You're just bitter that I didn't fall at your feet, swooning, because you're _Quidditch _star."

James threw back his head and laughed at this. "Believe me, I would rather shag McGonagall than have anything to do with you, you snooty cow. Don't worry, I'll leave you alone. I wouldn't want to bother your highness with my lowly presence." He gave her a mock bow.

"I appreciate it." Lily sniffed, sweeping past him with a flick of her hair.

Lily never went back to that classroom again.

Not too long later, the summer holidays were upon them and James found himself at a local Quidditch match with Sirius and his parents.

"Mr and Mrs Potter, you wouldn't mind if James and I sat with some of our mates from school would you?" Sirius had to shout to be heard over the cacophony of noises that always accompanied a Quidditch match.

The older couple exchanged an amused glance. "Of course not Sirius," Mrs Potter shooed them away impatiently. "We'll meet you at the Apparition point once the game is over."

"And be safe!" Mr Potter shouted after them as the two boys took off. "No pranks! Behave yourself!"

"Who's here?" James jogged to keep up with Sirius, who seemed very determined to meet up with their mysterious friends and had taken off at a run.

"Some of the girls are here, you know, Marls and her Quidditch mad mates. I told her we'd meet up with her and maybe go out to the pub afterwards."

James bit back a groan and rolled his eyes. "Padfoot! I don't want to spend the game trying to fend off obsessed girls feeling me up."

"Not THAT type of Quidditch mad you tosser. Actually Quidditch mad, as in, they love watching the game." Sirius shook his head at him. "Get over yourself mate, its' no wonder Evans thinks your egotistical."

"Oy!" James shoved Sirius. "Lay off."

They slowed to a walk as they reached the stands, still bickering and laughing as they made their way up the steps.

"There they are! MARLS! OY, MARLS!" Sirius started waving his arms around like mad, a large smile spreading across his face.

A tall, leggy blonde stood to her feet and joined Sirius in the arm waving, hollering and grinning. She was sitting in the middle three other girls, all decked out in team colours, who, by the looks of it, were having a very heated discussion. One girl had even charmed her hair to flash blue and silver. James approved of this – any Arrows supporter was an instant friend of his.

" 'allo boys!" Marls greeted them with a kiss on each cheek. "Glad you could make it."

"Marls." Sirius slung arm over her shoulder, knocking into one of the girls as he tripped over his own feet. "Thanks for the invite." He inclined his head towards James. "You know James."

Marls rolled her eyes playfully. "Of course I know James. We go to Hogwarts together, you dolt. All right James?"

"All right Marls?"

James was distracted from the rest of their conversation when he overheard a snippet of the discussion going on around them. Marls' friends had not even paused in their debate, completely oblivious to James and Sirius' arrival.

"Don't be absurd!" The girl with the charmed hair was saying. "Yes, the Magpies have won the League Cup a ridiculous amount of times and yes, they are a very strong team but they haven't got a chance this year, not after Watkins death. Bit stupid of him if you ask me."

He had to agree with this unknown girl and squinted at her curiously. If she was Marls' friends, she must go to Hogwarts with them. Her voice sounded familiar, so he ought to know her.

"He didn't _choose _to fly into a helicopter. " One of her friends was arguing. "Besides, Watkins didn't make the team, even without him –"

"Pssh." The girl interrupted with a dismissive wave of her hands. "He was their star chaser and Captain to boot. The team can't just recover from a loss like that over night. It'd be like saying the Gryffindor team could still play if James Potter was daft enough to fly into a helicopter and die before a match."

James' ears perked up at the mention of his name. He _definitely _knew that voice, who was this girl?

"Merlin Lils, be a little less ruthless will you? You're starting to scare me."

Suddenly the quaffle dropped and James couldn't stop the large, entirely smug grin that was spreading across his face. That was _Lily_? Lily Evans, Miss "Once You've Seen One Quidditch Match You've Seen Them All"? Oh, this was going to be _brilliant_.

"You know Lily," Marls called over James' shoulder. "She takes Quidditch _very _seriously."

Lily – her hair still flashing between blue and silver – laughed sheepishly and started to turn around. "I know, I know, I need to calm down, but I can't...help...my...oh _no_."

The smile slid of Lily's face as she turned around and noticed James standing next to Marls, smirk firmly in place.

There was a moment of stunned silence as Lily stared at James and he congratulated himself on his good luck. Marls broke the silence with a concerned query. "Lily? Are you all right? You've gone awfully pale."

Before she had a chance to respond, James spoke. "Why _hello_ there Lily Evans! Fancy seeing you here at a _Quidditch _match."

"Hello Potter." Lily muttered, flushing a dark red. She wouldn't meet his eyes.

"No really," James continued, eyes lighting up. "This has got to be possibly the very last place I'd expect to see you."

"But Lily is obsessed with Quidditch..?" One of her friends muttered to Marlene who shrugged, as lost as everyone else. Only Sirius had an idea of what was happening and he started sniggering.

"I'm sure it is." Lily folded her arms across her chest.

"What about Voldemort's house?" Sirius spoke up.

James pretended to think about it as Lily's blush deepened and her friends became even more confused.

"You know what mate, I reckon a Quidditch match even beats that. Didn't you once tell me that once you'd seen – "

"Oh look, the match is starting!" Lily interrupted desperately, her voice higher than usual.

The match was indeed beginning and around them there was a flurry of movement as people rushed back to their seats, collected their missing children, made themselves comfortable and unfurled banners.

In amongst all this hustle and bustle, James was very determinedly forcing his way in between Lily and her brunette friend. "You don't mind if I sit here do you? I have poor eyesight you see and I need to sit a little bit closer...oh yes, thanks. You're a doll." He flashed the friend a charming smile, ignored the bewildered stare she gave him and turned to face Lily, leaning back in his seat with a satisfied smile.

"Shut up Potter."

"I haven't said anything yet!" James protested, unable to wipe the smirk off his face. This really was too brilliant.

"You don't have to!" Lily snapped, hunching her shoulders in so they weren't brushing against his.

"I was just going to compliment you on your hair." James said innocently, flicking her blue hair with his fingers. She glared at him and jerked her head away. "It's a nice bit of charm work...really shows off your team pride."

"Thanks." She answered stiffly and James tried not to laugh. She was unfailingly polite.

"Maybe you could do the same thing at our first match next year?" He leaned forward and grinned. "Oh, wait. That's right. You don't go to Quidditch matches. Once you've seen one game, you've seen them all."

"Potter, shut up."

"Besides, Quidditch isn't a _real_ sport yeah? Maybe you'd rather go watch some football?"

"Shut up Potter."

"Oh hang on, maybe I should introduce myself, in case you forgot who I was again. I'm James Potter, star chaser and captain of the Gryffindor team. I heard some bird say that if I died the entire team would fall to pieces because I'm just that brilliant –"

"That's _not _what I said you insufferable – "

"Well, it was implied anyway. She must be a huge fan of me, this girl. I reckon she'd swoon right at my feet if I ever-"

"What is _wrong _with you? I'm going to – "

"You'd never do that right Lily? Because you're not impressed by Quidditch players? Find them boorish and stupid yeah? Bet you don't have any posters of any Quidditch players on your wall or fantasize about snogging them or –"

"THIS IS THE ONLY THING I FANTASIZE ABOUT YOU STUPID, ARROGANT, TOSSER!" Lily's shriek drew the attention of everyone around them and they gaped as she whipped out her wand, pointed it at James' laughing face and shouted a hex at him.

Fast reflexes saved James alone – before she had a chance to realise what was happening, James ducked and the hex flew straight past him, hitting Sirius in the face instead. Obnoxiously pink tentacles instantly sprouted from his head, waving gently in the air as they grew longer and longer.

Her friends stared at Lily in shock. The girl was eyeing Sirius in horror, her hands clasped over her mouth, chest heaving.

James was rolling around laughing in his chair, clutching at his sides as tears streamed down his cheeks.

Marlene had taken out her wand and was frantically trying to remove the tentacles from Sirius face before they grew any longer. Her other friends had crowded around the pair, offering different pieces of advice to an increasingly alarmed Marlene.

"I hate you." Lily hissed at a still laughing James.

"No you don't." James responded, grinning.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Something a little more light hearted for you guys...inspired HEAVILY by Singing In The Rain, which I watched the other night with my bestie! If you haven't seen it, go out and watch it straight away, it's a brilliant movie and very funny! Hope you guys enjoy and MERRY CHRISTMAS if I don't post anything before then – Franklet xx**


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